au revoir to my forties

I’m a little over a month into my 49th year on this Earth and my conclusion is getting old is not for the weak. I say that tongue and cheek, of course. I think being very late in my forties is still exciting even after the mammogram (more on that in a minute), the EKG and finally last week, a colonoscopy. ALL of this crammed in right after I turned 49! Oh and did I mention I fell and scraped my foot and both knees? OUCH!!! Yes, that sucked. And it was embarrassing.

I’m literally writing this while soaking my feet and knees in a medicated hot bath. WTF! I was embracing the end of my forties just one month ago and now I’m wondering will I survive it? The short answer is Y-E-S! I know I will but it might be a little harder than I thought. Its going to require GRIT and maybe some wine and chocolate. I may not be running into my fifties now more like power walking.

Happy to report all of my medical tests came back aces; grateful for that. It did leave me with so many questions though! First up the mammogram, I’ve gained weight over the years and have birthed three babies so I’m not a member of the itty bitty committee any longer so my mammogram hurts! They make jokes and try to adjust for comfort but it still hurts…bad. Why the vise grip? It’s not for the faint of heart and why for the love of Jesus can’t they figure out a better system?!? I bet if they had to test testicular cancer that way they could come up with a different test real quick. Another question; and I really want to know the answer, is how do small chested women get mammograms because if they get to have a special kind of ultrasound or MRI, I want that version!

Now for the fun stuff, the colonoscopy. Boy oh boy! The prep work was a chore for sure but you have to get through it to get to the good stuff, the SLEEP! I remember this about it… everyone was great and the nurse asked me where I like to eat and where I like to vacation… I tried to answer but was out or maybe I did answer and have no idea what I said, that is a scary thought. I woke up refreshed and ready to take on the day. Last thing about this, is just do it! It might save your life.

I enjoy being an adult, a mom, a boss and wife. Getting older is great! I don’t care what other people think about me, I don’t have to keep up with the proverbial Joneses and I only have to control myself. If I want to solve my problems with wine and chocolate that’s ok. It’s my choice.

Growing up I watched shows like The Nanny, Friends, Sex and the City, the Young and Restless and the Golden Girls. I couldn’t wait to become an adult so I could stay out all night, drink, get into clubs, have my own place, some romance, drink coffee and eat lots of desserts because that is how they solved problems on all my shows. It’s funny how I thought the Golden Girls were so old. However, interesting fact; Rose was 55, Dorothy 53 and Blanche 47! I personally think I would give all the them a run for their money right now. I have a 17 year old, 15 year old and a 9 year old to keep up with! I like to think they keep me young.

So let’s get on with it and see what my next adventures of 49 bring! I will have the wine and I will have lots of chocolate and not regret a minute of it. Let’s talk again soon and try not to make getting old suck to bad!

• Growing up with John Hughes
• Ode to Joy
• Getting old sucks…or does it?
• Happy Birthday!
• Au Revoir to my Forties